Dealing with Your Core Traits

Many people want to completely discard their past. They want you to judge them today only by today, not by anything they did in the past. If they had personally harmed you, they usually have a general apology, but one that don't go into many specifics.

On the one hand, I am all in favor of this. No one should have every mistake brought up all the time. We have to be able to work past our past and advance into the future. That said, we cannot completely ignore what we have done in the past if we want to avoid the core of the same problem in the future.

Our basic tendencies and ways of doing things almost always remains the same, even if we change the focus of our lives. Our basic way of responding is likely to be the same. If we were quiet and contemplative, we are unlikely to react quickly and loudly. In the same way, someone who decides not to harm others may still do annoying things if they have an aggressive personality.

We may also find that our decision to "do right" is not built on as firm a foundation as we want to believe. While we may want to do right, we have to change our habits and fill our lives with "good things" before we can be sure to keep the bad habits out.

I find I am knowing that habits and our deep character are different, but I know that many people see them as the same. This is ultimately not correct. I may decide I am not going to try and push you into an action, but I also know that I could push you to "hurry up" if we took a road trip across the country. My desire to not force your decisions would not outweigh my desire to "get moving" when the time to do so came.

I do not see a conflict with this. I am all for people changing and think that is the only way we will find our way out of many modern troubles, but I also know that such change will have to take into account that we are still the same people.

This brings us back to my starting thought. You cannot completely ignore your past. If you try to do so, you will not account for important elements in your own current actions and behaviors. You are still you. This means you must make sure you deal with those core issues, not just ignore them.

All of us want to be past our past problems and mistakes, but make sure you don't set yourself up to repeat them because you never recognize a core personality trait!

A character trait is based on doing good or bad and can be changed. A personality trait will always be with you and must be considered. Character traits can also be more persistent than we realize. Acknowledge the character traits so you can see the warning signs that you are about to repeat them. Acknowledge the personality trait so you can learn to keep it controlled, but realize you will never eliminate it without eliminating who you are.

In the same manner, realize when someone's personality trait is coming up and don't get offended. Work with them to find a way to funnel it properly rather than rejecting them. This will help you all relate in a much more effective manner.

Fscination with the Supernatural

We supposedly live in a modern age where science has proven that we are all just the (ultimate) result of mindless processes over many, many years. No guiding intelligence above us, just cold, hard science. Many of these "scientists" actively devote their lives to slay the "demons of superstition" of those who believe in a god of some sort, especially the Christian One. They find that it is completely intolerable that anyone with such views might influence government, the media or anything else "important". Such beliefs are not even tolerable in the churches, since they ultimately lead to all kinds of bad things (in the eyes of these evangelists).

Yet, in spite of all this, what are the most popular entertainment choices now? Vampires, werewolves, and other supernatural things. The very things many of these religious views oppose have become dramatically more popular at the same time a more "rational" view of the world is supposedly prevailing. The local cable company keeps pushing "ghost story" movies and other tripe, in the same vein.

We need to come to the realization that the elite priest of scientific atheism are wrong. Everything cannot be explained by purely natural processes. Things exist outside what our senses can directly interact with. Close one avenue off and society will seek others.

Man inherently knows the supernatural is real. Some is good, some isn't. We need to instead focus ourselves on learning what really is accurate and building a life in balance with the universe, not one that leaves a huge part of it out. People will seek the supernatural, so we are better off pointing them to the proper things rather than fighting that and only leaving the more dangerous aspects.

Guidance

I find it very ironic that many things are described as "evolving", especially in the tech industry. Computer interfaces, systems, applications, whatever. Many people associate the growth and change in these areas as proof that nature has Evolved (big E) over the years, yet it is an entirely different thing. The growth and advancement in technology is all guided by someone, normally in response to a real or perceived market need. It is not unguided and just "happening by chance." Yet people equate the two.

Some people need to think a bit more....

Brad

People with Half a Brain?

What is it with all these tech people who seem to have a knee-jerk opposition to Bush and Republicans, yet swallow the same line of junk from a Democrat administration? Do they really think that Bush was evil in a way that Obama could never be? Don't they realize that the problem is power corrupting? It doesn't matter who is in charge, power will be abused today. Too many "good things" depend on the abuse of power. After all we have to do ________ for the sake of our country! Fill the blank with whatever good thing you are in favor of and the same actions that are horrible by one person become acceptable by another.

The better approach is to be skeptical of them all. Realize that no one, no matter how good or saintly, can be successful in the modern political climate. Too much is built on secrecy and dong things behind the scenes. It has always been that way and it will continue to be that way.

I wish this left an opening for hope, but I don't see the change. Ironically, many people both mistrust government and want it to do more. You can't have both! We would be far better off with a limited government, but then we couldn't do all the "good things" that must be done, so government grows and grows. What will many of these cheerleaders do when their heroes are found to have clay feet as well? Probably give some good excuse and go on.

No one will cry out that we should not put so much power into anyone's hands. While it sounds great to have a central control, that doesn't work. Only massive failure is likely to finally wake people up, but then it will be too late to do much about it. :(

Brad

E-Book Pricing is Lousy

I have been reading recently that many publishers are fighting with Amazon to be able to price their books at far more than the $9.99 Amazon has for most books now.

I would ask them one thing: Are they trying to hasten their death? I have bought several books for my Kindle (I own the DX and the original), but I have only spent over $9.95 twice. Once was for the CISSP study book and once was for a secure development book. I am not sure I have gotten my money out of either. Ironically, I own both in paperback, but that didn't save me a penny on the electronic purchase. I am sure these same publishers would like to bill me a few more times for the same book as well!

Sure, they may get some readers to pay more, but how many people are actively reading these days anyway? I find that I tend to listen to audiobooks instead anyway, though that is tough with most technical books. Who has the time for lots of reading? Who has the inclination? Most will watch a TV show or movie, or even play a video game, before opening a book. I am the exception, but they are doing their best to push me away.

I don't know the exact margins for ebooks, but I know they were really tight for hardcopy ones when I was looking at writing one many years back. So they would make a whole lot more on an ebook than they would on the hardcopy version. Yet, they don't want me to see any price savings. Ironically, I might even be able to go into a Sams Club and get one cheaper than I could on the Kindle. What kind of logic is that?

Ah well, turn off those customers publishers! We don't need you anyway. I have too much information to read as it is. I just wish blogs didn't cost a minimum of a dollar a month on the Kindle or I would use a whole lot more....

Your Reaction Matters

How do you respond when you are accused of something you didn't do? Do you try to respond calmly, figure out the facts and then provide light on the situation? Do you jump right in, proclaiming your innocence and letting everyone know how offended you are that they even dreamed you might have done anything wrong? If you don't do the latter, do others think you do that?

I would have to admit I have been guilty of the second choice far more often than I would like. in fact, it is one of the things I have to watch myself closely with when my wife is talking with me. It is far too easy to be offended and kill a relationship than to risk being wrong and keeping things much better.

Sometimes I find that I really was right, the other individual just understood. Sometimes they come around and see that, sometimes they don't. Either way, a calm reaction leaves a much better taste in everyone's mouth.

Sometimes I find out that I really was wrong. I may have misunderstood what they were saying at first, something that can happen because I normally will admit when I am wrong. Being right in this case, by admitting I was wrong, is more important to me than trying to cover it up.

No matter what, a calm reaction is much more likely to produce a good response in others. Reacting harshly, whatever the method (anger, sarcasm, something else), is more likely to produce much more trouble than the whole situation was worth.

It also makes others think you really were guilty. "Methinks he doth protest too much" comes to mind!

Brad

Letting Students Earn Their Grades

Other than grading papers (my least favorite activity that takes time), perhaps the worst part of teaching college courses is allowing students to earn their scores. Sometimes this can be great, especially when a struggling student scores a partial or full grade over where they were headed. Even better is the student who earns an A through consistently high quality work and participation.

Unfortunately, these are far outweighed, at least in my mind, with those students who either earn an F or who get caught with material that can only be explained as plagiarism. Some students try to change things at the last minute, often after the course is over. No work can be taken after the class ends if an institution wants to keep its accreditation (except when an official extension was granted of course), so such work can not be evaluated, no matter how good or bad.

A tragic part of this is that every time I have seen had the student skipping very easy to earn points (things like participation, easy assignments, etc.). Thus they made their own shortfall, but found out too late.

A few get very mad about it, but what can an instructor do? The numbers show what the numbers show.

No specifics in this post, I am just venting a general frustration. I am a very tough instructor (or so I have heard), but virtually everyone comes out of my classes having learned something. Most learn far more than just "something". I don't want to just be someone who pushes people through. I want to be someone that has an impact!

This means I have to work past those who fall way short, out of their own choice. I am glad to work with anyone, but I can only do so with those who recognize they need help and then take advantage of that help! Isn't that true of life? How many times have we missed the best because we thought we knew it all and didn't want to take input from others?

Design -> No Designer?

One of the things that amazes me is that so many people look at the wonders of design we see all around us and can't see a designer. Yet, we search space for designed signals to prove another civilization. Design there would prove a designer to us, but not in nature.

I have yet to find a thing in life that spontaneously produces order, yet that must be what happened.

Why can't that work in my work area sometime? It takes constant outside effort to maintain any order. None comes about on its own, nor would it if I applied a bunch of general energy, like a really strong heat lamp. The most that would bring is to run up my electrical bill and possibly burn the house down when things caught fire. But that is what happened, we are told, as the energy in stars made more organization.

Yeah, right.

We Will Mak It Fit!

Slashdot recently had an article Darwinian Evolution Considered As a Phase that presented a link to the idea that Evolution as we know it (and currently worship) only applied to recent history. Prior to that it is supposed to have worked differently. The reasoning, the best I can tell, is that things worked differently because they must have worked differently. Everything is fit into the "theory" or the "theory" is tweaked to account for what is found.

I read a few of the comments and of course it had to degenerate in many places into slams against those who see design and credit a designer. It is quite ironic that those who claim the most intelligence can lack it so much. Perhaps early evolution didn't work (in the since of a gain in information and changing one thing to another) because it doesn't work. Of course, this is not an acceptable answer, so some way must come to show that the fraud really is true.

Exactly who is the religious one here? The god of Evolution cannot fail. All must bow to this golden idol....

Going Forward

Many people deal with tough situations in their lives. While these can certainly make life miserable in some ways, they can also be used to allow us to have more compassion for others going through their own struggles. After all, it is easy to say, "Just keep your chin up," without a thought if we have not faced our own challenges.

While I am sure I can lack compassion in some areas, my experience in the adoption arena (see Brad on Adoption, my blog on that topic, for more details) has definitely given me more compassion for those going through their own adoption struggles.

An interesting outcome is that I am less tolerant of those who claim to understand what I am going through because they faced (or face) struggles with their own grown children. While some things are similar, many things are different when someone else can be legitimately called "dad" in your place. That changes the equation greatly.

I suppose I need to watch my own compassion in that case. I have been trying to not argue how I am different in those cases and just focus on being friendly, but it can be challenging to not just shot off, at the least. How ironic that compassion gained in one area reduces it in another.

Something to think about whenever you think you are becoming compassionate. Check that your compassion for one thing doesn't become intolerance for another!

Brad

Keeping a Mental Focus

One thing I have found in my own life is that I usually learn better in a live environment if I am doing something relatively simple to engage my mind while I am listening to the instructor. Playing Farmville while someone is speaking usually allows me to get more from what is being said that keeping my whole attention and focus only on the speaker.

This seems wrong in some ways and certainly would concern some instructors. After all, how could I be focusing when I am playing a completely unrelated game? Ironically,. I think the mental activity keeps my mind sharp while keeping it from getting bored and wandering much further.

Unfortunately, such things were not available when I was in college, though I did try Rubics Cubes and other twisty toys, but I never found anything that was engaging beyond a few minutes, at best. I did great in most classes, but paying attention to the lecture was never my strong suite, though I could usually master the material easily in spite of this.

I do have to watch out here. It is very easy to use something that requires too much focus, such as an online game of Bejeweled, so this is not without its hazards. Still, I think the fact I can keep my brain running is ultimately a worthwhile effort.

I do listen to a lot of podcasts and different kinds of teaching as "background music" during my work, so I wonder if this has any impact to things.

Brad

Productive Motivation

We all face the same problem. Everyone has the same 24 hours each day, plus or minus an hour on some days when the clock changes. What we do with that time now determines what we will have in the future.

That focus on future reward for actions now is a hard thing to stay focused on in our society. I grew up in a generation that wanted it NOW and we are even more that way today. This aspect of delaying gratification, possibly with hard work now for better results later, is harder to ingrain in when other habits are so common.

We can know what we should do, but we are not going to be well off until we do it. We can read book after book on the topic, but it ultimately does come down the the tired cliche of "just do it!"

A support network that helped us in the process would be very helpful in this, but most of us are missing such support. Even if we have close friends or family, few of them will get in our face and tell us to stop slacking off when we decide to goof off rather than laying a solid foundation for the future.

How do we get that hard support today? I am not sure. Most of us will leave if we don't like what we are being told, making the "kick in the seat of the pants" talk we may need rather ineffective. Most people struggling really do know what to do, they just don't really want to do it. I know I often fall into that camp, even though I want to avoid it.

All we can do is keep pushing forward and trying to find the group of supportive people who will also challenge us to accomplish great things, even if it "hurts" at times.

Are you ready to be challenged? Who do you allow to challenge and truly inspire you?

Brad

10 ways to tame the chaos and organize your office life

I have signed up for too many email newsletters, but I sometimes manage to read them.

10 ways to tame the chaos and organize your office life by Jack Wallen talks about ways to unclutter your life. They all sound like great tips in general, but I suspect that these kind of tips are really ways for those with great organization skills to torment those who are more challenged in this area.

How many successful people are really hyper-organized, like these articles suggest? I don't dispute the fact that keeping good organization is valuable, but is having an ultra-clean desk really that key a factor in success?

The problem is that you only read these articles from those who are neat freaks.

It would be interesting to see a study of how much this kind of organization is really valuable. Is it necessary to do well or is just finding something that works good enough? It is quite possible that those who struggle more with organization are more productive overall. Maybe better organization would help them be even more productive, but perhaps it would just divert them from their strengths.

I will have to dig into this more later....

Brad

Scientific Progress and Atheism

I read another ignorant letter to the editor in USA Today yesterday. The writer was claiming that atheism was the true force enabling scientific breakthroughs.

Have these people studied scientific history at all? Are they intentionally or accidentally ignorant? While the recent scientific world has discriminated against those with beliefs in a creator of some sort, most of the fundemental breakthroughs in science were by those who firmly believed life had meaning because it had a creator and so could focus their efforts on finding that consistent meaning.

What scientific breakthroughs came because of a belief in no creator? Not just an uncertainty of such, but because none existed, the key tenet of atheism? Even breakthroughs by atheist scientists didn't require atheism, so why do some continue to claim otherwise?

I find it amazing that we continually proclaim those who make beautiful things are worthy of praise, yet deny the Creator of the most beautiful thing in existence, the life all around of, of the praise He so richly deserves.

Brad

Empty Nest!

My wife and I finally have an empty nest. A bit quiet, but it is certainly nice. We helped my son, his wife and my granddaughter move several hours away where he is in Army AIT training. He won't have a lot of time, but they wanted to be closer, after being apart for several months during basic training.

Now I just have to finish fixing the house up without breaking the bank! We had a fixer upper we never fixed. :) We are fixing a lot of it now.

Brad

Focus

I am someone who is interested in many different things. While this can be a great thing, since I can be truly interested in what many people are talking about, it can also be a problem when I have to decide where to spend limited time. My life sometimes feels like a commercial I heard about a faithful dog (golden retriever?) that was doing his master's bidding, but then got distracted by a squirrel. Our information age brings up many different, interesting things all the time. Staying focused is incredibly hard.

I suppose this is just another example of a great strength being a (potential) great weakness. The same thing is good and bad, sometimes at the same time.

No solutions here, just some thoughts.

Brad

I am reading Liberal Socialism by Bernard Goldberg now. Its argument is that modern liberalism is really based on the same foundation fascism, with literal effective different between socialism/communism and fascism, since both call for the state to control all aspects of life.

He has an interesting point that one of the reasons that it is hard to pinpoint exactly what is fascism is because it varies greatly based on where it is. Fascism in Italy was very different from that in Germany and from that elsewhere.

I will try to post a more complete review later.

It is interesting how many people who are "liberal" today want to tell people how to live and think. They would raise a stink if the "Religious Right" did so on a moral issue, but they have no problem heading a crusade against handguns, smoking or even how people think. This is worth further thought later, though I am sure to stir up some controversy whatever I say.

It is sad how so many supposedly tolerant people are very intolerant of those who disagree. Why did I get off on this rant? Because they often freely throw out the term fascist for those they disagree with. This is following the trend started by Stalin and hypocritically continued today. Sure, some "on the right" want to control some things, but they are pikers compared to today's liberal. We have to force good, at whatever the cost!

Even Bush went along the path when he called for "no child to be left behind." We can't make heaven on earth, but we sure will try....

Brad

Always the Values....

Marty Nemko makes a few good suggestions for Republicans in a recent post. His idea on pushing accountability on education is reasonable and I definitely like the idea of government spending less money, but why must some people always shove the social goals along with less government involvement in life?

Ironically, many people who oppose anyone pushing their values have no problem when it comes to forcing their own values on others, in this case in the areas of abortion and redefining marriage.

In the former, it will always be an issue of freedom of the most innocent and their right to live, whatever someone may decide is their right to demand. While I could see why some might argue in favor of abortion when a the child is not viable outside the womb, but I find it incredible that people can think that allowing such destruction after a child is viable would ever be consistent with a society that protects the rights of the innocent. And what kind of society is one where the one with the power is the only one who gets to make the rules?

Ironically, while I feel very strongly about this, I also realize this issue will not be resolved any time soon and that pushing through laws either way is a fruitless cause. Nothing will be resolved until hearts change. We rely too much on so-called law today. Attitudes are far more important and I suspect we have a lot farther to fall before we will get anywhere close to a truly tolerant and life-affirming society.

The other issue is that government should not be in the business of defining what marriage is. If someone wants to marry their cat, let them, just don't mandate requirements on other supporting that decision. You can do what you want, but why must others sanction it? Is any side in the "culture wars" really better than any other?

Giving government the power to force things in these contentious debates just ensure more contention, it won't solve them.

Brad

Finding Your Niche

I have been thinking a lot about my niche lately. What can I really do better than anyone else and get paid well while doing it? Money was less of a concern when I was younger and I wanted to work in the games field, but more independent. While I would love to have a well paying games gig now, it is much less likely since I have been out of the field for several years.

The game playing, reviewing and some developing didn't pay all that well, but I sure had fun. I was probably one of the more prolific reviewers at the time, though I don't know how I would do today. My tastes certainly vary from the modern offerings, especially since blood and guts seems to be shoved into just about anything.

I am loving my current work in the information security area, but that is just part of the picture. I tend to pursue something with a passion for a while and then go toward something else. Right now it is learning about infosec and getting a bunch of certifications along the way. I have several SANS/GIAC certifications and will be taking the CISM in June and the CISSP is likely in August (finally). I did get the CSSLP based on my experience, though secure development is definitely both a good fit for me given my experience and what I am digging into.

What will come next? Good question. How can you make really good money and get paid to write all the time? That is the big question. I can communicate, a very valuable skill. Having some technical chops is great too, though I always want more.

My big quest now is figuring out what skills I need to build in the next few years so I can have a much more flexible lifestyle in the future. Figuring that out is the toughest thing of all.

Which gets me back to my point: Finding your niche can be hard, especially if you want to do something unique with that niche. I am confident I will find something unique, I always have. I just want to find it sooner rather than later!

Why have you read this far? Boredom would be one option, but my bet is you are facing similar questions. If I had complete answers, I would already be following it. Though I am convinced that pursuing things with a passion and making yourself the best you can be is still the best thing you can do. The problems come in when picking what to pursue. Too many options means it is impossible to pursue them all.

I will write more later as I think this through.

Brad

Making a test post from my cell phone/PDA.